Earwash

Due to the lingering effects of COVID, today's episode is the relatively easy listening that is the oddments of Douglas's notebooks, which this week includes a surfeit of lesbians. While I do not claim that this episode will cure COVID, please note that there's no evidence that it *doesn't* cure COVID and I am sure that I could persuade at least some people on the internet that it could if i tried.

As part of an autumnal spring clean, Douglas releases the sweepings from the cutting room floor, cleaning his hard drive but dirtying your ears with the audio dust. But, I hear you cry, however will I get my ears clean from all this auditory dust? Worry not, dear listener, for any regular episode of Earwash will clear it away, and you shall discover that this audio dust is an exfoliant, leaving your ears even cleaner than a regular episode alone would! So listen on, and let's exfoliate those ears.

This week, a lovelorn Bruce Plank sings us a lovelorn song, featuring some of the most horrendous ukelele playing you will ever hear

After the existential crisis that was last week's anniversary episode, I think we all need something calming: the weirdness that ends up in my notebook, with some soothing classical music in the background. 

The anniversary episode did not go as planned

In our fifty-second episode (as in it is the episode after the fifty-first, not that it goes for fifty seconds. It goes for quite a bit longer than that), we are joined by the Earwig and Selwyn, Australia's fastest snail. Listen and learn how long it takes a snail to run a marathon, how to efficiently transport a team of insects to France, and the specific risks posed to snail athletes by French cuisine. Apologies for the length of this one, it turns out snails talk as slowly as they move.

This week, we are joined by eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular, who is having a creative slump. What caused it? Can he get out of it? And how could the musical Cats be made any more disturbing than it already is? Find out in this episode, which, like many musicals, is much too long and involves unexpected and uncalled for outbreaks of song.

How better to mark the fiftieth episode of this nonsense with an assemblage of nonsense from Douglas's notebooks?

This week, American controversialist Jennifer Cash brings her opinions and unique grasp of geography on the proposed banning of TikTok

In an forslackened forty-eighth episode, Douglas borrows some emergency questions from a podcaster far more talented than he is to ask to country singer Bruce Plank