Earwash

In an un-bee-lievable sixty-third episode, we meet the Australian male bee synchronised flying team. Despite being a largely visual experience, we're putting it out as audio. You shall have to imagine for yourselves the spectacle that unfolds.

In a tight little capsule of an episode, Douglas discloses the strange oddments contained in one of his notebooks. That's it, that's the entire thing, and yet it is so much more than this blurb would suggest. Listen and hear it for yourself

This week, we hear from Douglas's American neighbour Jennifer. Why is she boycotting a major hardware chain? What is the most anti-woke meat? Does kosher salt really make things kosher? Some of these questions will be answered in this week's earwashing.

Douglas has spent the last month in Ballarat, and it's starting to get to him. Fortunately he has omnicritic Horace Perrault to assist him in assessing exactly what is the biggest problem with where he is staying. Is it the light that will not turn off? Is it the grime in the bathroom? Or is it the unsettling thing Douglas found in the carpet? Listen, and find out for yourselves about the apartment that is the best place to have an existential crisis in Ballarat.

This week Douglas has consulted the stars to foretell your future. At least, he thinks they were the stars. He lives in a very light polluted area so what he may have been consulting may have been Starlink satellites, or a plane going overhead. Whatever it actually was that was consulted, it bestows its secrets of the future upon you. Listen, and hear what the future holds for you...
Music: Ethereal by Punch Deck 

This week we veer dangerously close to being educational, with Douglas disclosing and defining the weird and wonderful words recorded in his notebooks

In a finagling fifty-seventh episode, eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular answers the questions you never knew you didn't want to know the answers to

Due to the lingering effects of COVID, today's episode is the relatively easy listening that is the oddments of Douglas's notebooks, which this week includes a surfeit of lesbians. While I do not claim that this episode will cure COVID, please note that there's no evidence that it *doesn't* cure COVID and I am sure that I could persuade at least some people on the internet that it could if i tried.

As part of an autumnal spring clean, Douglas releases the sweepings from the cutting room floor, cleaning his hard drive but dirtying your ears with the audio dust. But, I hear you cry, however will I get my ears clean from all this auditory dust? Worry not, dear listener, for any regular episode of Earwash will clear it away, and you shall discover that this audio dust is an exfoliant, leaving your ears even cleaner than a regular episode alone would! So listen on, and let's exfoliate those ears.

This week, a lovelorn Bruce Plank sings us a lovelorn song, featuring some of the most horrendous ukelele playing you will ever hear