Earwash

Episode 52 - You Can't Live Your Life Assuming A Frenchman's Going To Eat You

In our fifty-second episode (as in it is the episode after the fifty-first, not that it goes for fifty seconds. It goes for quite a bit longer than that), we are joined by the Earwig and Selwyn, Australia's fastest snail. Listen and learn how long it takes a snail to run a marathon, how to efficiently transport a team of insects to France, and the specific risks posed to snail athletes by French cuisine. Apologies for the length of this one, it turns out snails talk as slowly as they move.

Episode 51 - Oklahomo!

This week, we are joined by eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular, who is having a creative slump. What caused it? Can he get out of it? And how could the musical Cats be made any more disturbing than it already is? Find out in this episode, which, like many musicals, is much too long and involves unexpected and uncalled for outbreaks of song.

Episode 50 - Afterbirth Day

How better to mark the fiftieth episode of this nonsense with an assemblage of nonsense from Douglas's notebooks?

Episode 49 - Kim Joun-Un's A Communist?!

This week, American controversialist Jennifer Cash brings her opinions and unique grasp of geography on the proposed banning of TikTok

Episode 48 - Pizza Or Ennui?

In an forslackened forty-eighth episode, Douglas borrows some emergency questions from a podcaster far more talented than he is to ask to country singer Bruce Plank

Bonus Episode D - Well This Is Going To Be A Bastard To Edit

In an unexpected bonus episode, Douglas unpouches some more of his mistakes. Expect to hear interruptions by cats, inappropropriate giggles and confusion over the pronunciation of Kleinwachter's Flugeladjutant. Plus a soothing melody completely ruined by having Douglas gargling over the top of it - If Douglas went through the pain of recording it, it only seems fair that you should have the pain of hearing it.

Episode 47 - The Earworm

Episode 47 sees Douglas joined by the Earwig and a key member of the Australian Insect Games team for an in-depth discussion of competitive tunneling

Episode 46 - Pawkiness

This week, we're going to expand our vocabularies with a collection of some unusual and interesting words that Douglas has noted. At last, an episode that is fine to listen to with your grandmother (unless your grandmother is into the utter filth this podcast usually contains. I don't know her, for all I know, she loves the rude stuff and will find this episode boring. If your grandmother is like that, then perhaps best not to listen to it with her. She may be bored by it.)

Episode 45 - Epiphanic Bathroom Cleaning

In a forswonked forty-fifth episode, we are joined by omni-critic Horace Perrault, who appears to have discovered something of great significance whilst cleaning a bathroom

Episode 44 - Albanese's Very Easy

In this week's episode, Jonathan Crepuscular treats us to an excerpt from his new trouser-troubling tome, inspired by the political struggles of Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. Slightly more sultry than you might expect for a book about Australian politics, but that's hardly a compliment given how low a bar that is.
 
Music credits
Bensound.com: "Sexy"