Earwash

Episode 83 - Make Foots Cray Great Again

In a month already full of unexpected election results, this week's Earwash brings you another - the outcome of the Footscray (or should that be Foots Cray?) school board election. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the unexpected result will cause as many controversial outcomes as other, more highly publicised recent elections.

Episode 82 - Two Ounces of Human Juice

As the news this week is likely to have caused considerable stress and tension, this week Earwash presents a soothing audio balm of Douglas's notebook nonsense. Pour yourself a glass of human juice, find somewhere confortable to lie down, press play on this episode, and let your sphincters unclench. All your sphincters.

Episode 81 - Trumpy Pumpy

Just when you thought the American elections couldn't throw up any more weirdness, out comes this week's episode of Earwash, contains an excerpt from eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular's new novel, Trumpy Pumpy. In an election season that's been full of outrageous soundbites, I can guarantee that there's some new and outrageous ones in this episode

Episode 80 - The Profound Regret of the Ukelele Player

What to say about this episode? "Enjoy" seems too much, "I'm sorry" not enough. So, something between the two is what i want to say about this episode, which contains the distilled essence of my notebook.

Bonus Episode F - Turning the Page

By way of apology for the recent disruptions to the release schedule, Earwash presents a soothing ear balm of turning pages, the clink of glasses and the sound of a ukelele impeding progress. Earwash will not, however, be apologising to anyone who feels that this is an inadequate apology for the disrupted release schedule.

Episode 79 - The Dog With No Name

This week, country singer Bruce Plank drops by to tell us about his travels and collect the dog with no name. Some listeners have reported hearing a strange whistling noise every time the phrase "the dog with no name" is spoken; I can guarantee that there is no such sound in this episode, and anyone who can hear it should get themselves checked for tinnitus.

Episode 78 - A Weird Gnome Menagerie

I'd like to say Douglas has a good excuse for the late release of this episode, but he does not - He did however have a delightful weekend. But I digress. This week we dip into the contents of Douglas's notebooks, which feature a preponderance of lesbians, centipedes and semen. So, business as usual.

Episode 77 - Alarming

In an episode guaranteed to banish all thoughts of sleep, Douglas reveals the new alarm tone he has developed to overcome the shortcomings of the iphone alarm tones

Episode 76 - A Venerable Pillar of All That is Camp and Kitsch

In an episode delayed due to unforseen feline-related incidents, we are joined by eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular, who has found inspiration in sport

Epsiode 75 - Gargling a Grape

In this semi-auspicious episode, a semi-auspicious treat awaits: I asked the listeners of Earwash to provide nuggets of strangeness worthy of my notebook, and nuggets of the purest strangeness were provided. Plus a bonus song from Erin, the chief miner of madness.