Earwash

Just when you thought the American elections couldn't throw up any more weirdness, out comes this week's episode of Earwash, contains an excerpt from eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular's new novel, Trumpy Pumpy. In an election season that's been full of outrageous soundbites, I can guarantee that there's some new and outrageous ones in this episode

What to say about this episode? "Enjoy" seems too much, "I'm sorry" not enough. So, something between the two is what i want to say about this episode, which contains the distilled essence of my notebook.

By way of apology for the recent disruptions to the release schedule, Earwash presents a soothing ear balm of turning pages, the clink of glasses and the sound of a ukelele impeding progress. Earwash will not, however, be apologising to anyone who feels that this is an inadequate apology for the disrupted release schedule.

This week, country singer Bruce Plank drops by to tell us about his travels and collect the dog with no name. Some listeners have reported hearing a strange whistling noise every time the phrase "the dog with no name" is spoken; I can guarantee that there is no such sound in this episode, and anyone who can hear it should get themselves checked for tinnitus.

I'd like to say Douglas has a good excuse for the late release of this episode, but he does not - He did however have a delightful weekend. But I digress. This week we dip into the contents of Douglas's notebooks, which feature a preponderance of lesbians, centipedes and semen. So, business as usual.

In an episode guaranteed to banish all thoughts of sleep, Douglas reveals the new alarm tone he has developed to overcome the shortcomings of the iphone alarm tones

In an episode delayed due to unforseen feline-related incidents, we are joined by eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular, who has found inspiration in sport

In this semi-auspicious episode, a semi-auspicious treat awaits: I asked the listeners of Earwash to provide nuggets of strangeness worthy of my notebook, and nuggets of the purest strangeness were provided. Plus a bonus song from Erin, the chief miner of madness.

An ambiguous sign has thrown an insomnia-stricken Douglas into a quandary about what can be considered temporary, whether the Marvel Cinematic Universe will outlast the physical Universe, and how the temporary/permanent dichotomy will affect his chances of getting a parking space at the station.

This week we delve behind the scenes of a surprisingly sensual ad for an airline, with someone with an intimate knowledge of its conception