Earwash

Episode 103 - Crabs, Worms and Nietzsche

As the deluge of earwashing this week continues, we delve once more in Douglas's notebook to hear what sort of nonsense he considers noteworthy. This episode's iteration contains running themes of of crabs, worms and Freidrich Nietzsche; in other words, a perfectly normal and unremarkable episode of this perfectly normal and not at all deeply strange podcast.

Episode 102 - An Easter Egg

The Easter Bunny has left a large auditory egg in you podcast feed in the form of this episode of Earwash. In an appropriately Easterly ramble you will learn many things, including how best to hide Easter eggs from yourself for hunting purposes, whether Jesus was a tardigrade, and best practice for home crucifixions. Happy Easter to all, particularly invertebrates and friendly Scotsmen.

Episode 101 - Hugh Grant's Pincers

It's the Earwig's turn to answer some Emergency Questions, and although it is a strangely sushi-focussed episode, you will hear fascinating insights into how Hugh Grant became a star, what Julia Roberts had surgically removed, and why there is a sinister painting of the Earwig in the roof of my house

Episode 100 - A Brief Moment of Sincerity

The hundredth episode calls for something monumental. Unfortunately, Douglas could not think of anything sufficiently monumental, so he decided not to bother. Instead, you can expect to hear 4 minutes and 13 seconds of wholesome gratitude, which is a major change from what this podcast usually is. Oh well, next episode we'll be back to the usual semi-obscene nonsense...

Episode 99 - Mysterious Greek Quasi-Brandy

As we assume the brace position in readiness for whatever madness Douglas has in store to celebrate the hundredth episode of Earwash, we can at least listen to some soothing nonsense from his notebbok, and hope that the 100th episode of Earwash makes more sense than his notebooks do

Episode 98 - Longing in Geelong

After a month-long manhunt and an unplanned four-week hiatus, this episode finally contains the answers you seek - as long as those answers pertain to what on earth happened to Jonathan Crepuscular on his Valentine's Day date and why he went missing for over a month. As for why this podcast went missing for a month, though... Well, that's for me to know and you to continue to ponder.

Episode 97 - Sheer Chance and Sheer Curtains

In a lo-fi episode (which is a polite way of saying 'poor sound quality'), Douglas explains his unexplained five week absence, and makes a shocking discovery worthy of Alfred Hitchcock (which is a fancy way of saying he saw something weird out of his rear window)

Episode 96 - Renee's Zellwegger

In a creative slump, Douglas consults the most productive creative person he knows for inspiration, learning a delightful new game in the process. Please feel free to play it too, and discover a whle new world of genital euphemisms

Episode 95 - Ear-Lave

In a natant ninety-fifth episode, let us expand our vocabulary with some interesting and (for once) non-obscene things that Douglas has written in his notebook. They all come from the time when he was reading The Lord of the Rings, so are probably of minimal use to you in your every day life, but who knows, perhaps the world would be a better place if more people knew more medieval words. Only one way to find out - listen and absorb...

Episode 94 - Cute Colonialism

In a noological ninety-fourth episode, we are joined by omni-critic Horace Perrault to gaze into the darkness that lies beneath a seemingly cute Nintendo game. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cute plant creature being thrown into a human face - forever.